He ::sliding my arm hand between your legs, caressing your labial folds:: She ::throaty moan, shifting my hips, squirming in response:: He ::softly parting your slit with my finger as I kiss you deeply:: She ::gasping against your lips:: He ::tracing with exquisite gentleness, my finger circling your clit::

That exchange is happening between a man and woman sitting at personal computer keyboards, hundreds of miles apart, as each types a line of text to the other. They indicate sexy actions as opposed to direct “talk” by enclosing them inside double colons (::). Yet despite the distance and seemingly awkward means of interaction, they are experiencing something that is both immediate (or, in jargon, real time) and as personal as their erotic imaginations. A friend of mine is fond of referring to what occurs in the computer world— also known as “cyberspace” — as “2D” and what appears in the normal, everyday world as “3D.” The man and his lady friend are engaged in the 2D equivalent of 3D sex, an activity that is variously called computer sex or compusex.

Our amorous couple have their computers linked, via telephone lines, to an online service. Such a service, or host, charges its subscribers for supplying them the means to interact in ways that go far beyond mere typed communication. The online service becomes, in a sense, an electronic village with the commerce, utilities, infrastructure and activities of an actual community. The cost of living within this village is a subscription fee.

To understand the context in which compusex occurs, think of the electronic village. Let’s use the host network on which I spend the most of my online time it’s a good example of what’s going on.

Before I can become a citizen of my particular electronic village, I need to gain access by first installing certain software in my computer, which comes with the membership fee. This particular service uses the concept of a “windowed” environment: The screen has special bordered areas. The windows contain buttons that can be selected by using a mouse or the keyboard.

The first thing I see when I call the host and enter my password is a window welcoming me by my chosen pseudonym it contains a list, or menu of special events that may be of interest. If I’ve already decided where I want to go, I may use a keyword or special combination of “hot keys” to get there. Or I can simply browse the service.

If I choose to browse, the selections include news and finance, special interest clubs and hobby boards, entertainment, reference and education, travel services and shopping. These choices make for a rich online environment at a reasonable cost, though many subscribers avoid direct interaction with others altogether, making full use of facilities of interest to the individual alone.

For players such as myself and my friends, however, the main focus of our online activities is the chat area. I get there with a simple combination of keystrokes that lands me in a special window called a “room.” The room concept in 2D is directly analogous to a 3D environment: Several people can be present and there’s even a maximum capacity. Rooms are central to the erotic relationships that develop online.

Within the room, people may chat with one another. To do this, they type their statements into a preparatory text area at the bottom of the room window, then press ENTER to release the text into the room.

Each person within the room has an identifying name, a pseudonym they’ve chosen. One of mine, for example, is “Sam Hazard.” As each person “speaks,” everyone within the room can see the comment and respond in kind. To let others know more about me, I can create a profile, which may be factual or not. That saves a lot of trouble during introductions.

Besides chatting in the room, I can also send private messages— like whispering to someone special— on electronic mail.

Any number of rooms may exist within the chat area, created by any person who wants to chat. Room names are arbitrary and can be created to deal with such subjects as politics, lifestyles, romance or nearly any other category imaginable.

The rooms described so far are “public,” which means that their names appear on the room roster. Public rooms are policed for offensive language and behavior for the benefit of all present. The erotic potential of this room system, however, is the opportunity for subscribers to create private rooms.

A private room shares all the attributes of a public one, except that its name doesn’t appear on the roster. The only way to know about the existence of one of these rooms is to be told of it or to stumble across it while trying to create a private room with same name and landing in the middle of an ongoing chat. Private rooms are the ideal setting for seduction.

Before friends go private, they will likely first meet in a public room. Several public room names are quite popular and appear day after day. Over time they become adopted and supported by the host. My favorite of these sanctioned rooms is a watering hole dedicated to free form role playing, particularly of the “sword and sorcery” variety. Derived from the popularity of fantasy board games, this room is modeled after a medieval inn and contains a mix of people who take on identities of their favorite fantasy characters. Characters need not be medieval, though, and so may hail from any time and circumstance.

People of a wide range of ages are involved in this role playing, but most of the women whom I’ve met and courted here are in their late 20s or early 30s. The fantasy environment makes for intriguing situations. Because the storylines are both intricate and inventive, this room tends to draw fascinating people.

One of my online names in this room has become well established as a romantic figure of larger than life proportions. In all modesty, I must admit he’s widely known as a lady’s man. He’s a landed nobleman and often seen taking four or five girls (individually, of course!) to the fur lined boudoir of his castle— a private room, naturally. I’ve never opted for the magical skills many others use. I prefer to handicap myself, as it were, by being fully human and thus I am challenged to excel. It’s the actor in me, and I work hard at my roles. The fantasy aura in which I play allows me to woo ladies of interest with flowery semi Elizabethan dialogue:

“Dear Lady, thine eyes are as the boundless sea, so blue and so deep! A man might well drown within them! And those lips! So full and succulent, Madame, they are as the spring of life itself! Wouldst suffer me to drink deeply of them!” and so on. We play out the romance in words and gestures as (hopefully) she becomes intrigued.

With enough persuasion, she often consents to go to a private room, where we may merely converse or get caught up in the passion of the moment and have sex. Whether we do or not depends on many factors. She may be in the inn strictly to socialize or she may be there to meet someone else. She may even avoid flirtation because a sweetheart is leaning over her shoulder at the keyboard. I’ve learned from long experience that there should be no expectation that all will be roses, moonlight and swordplay. While most of my encounters charm the lady in question, some have chosen not to play. The essence of online relationships is communication sometimes it works well, sometimes it doesn’t.

But let’s return to the opening flirtation. The give and take of the role playing is as old as the mating dance: showing off one’s plumage, so to speak. I send out intellectual feelers and test responses, looking for a resonance in the lady. The degree to which a pleasurable resonance occurs hints at the degree of potential for a satisfying friendship. The next step might easily be more intimate flirtation— displaying one’s prowess, reassuring the other.

In some cases where there seemed real compatibility, I’ve been unable to progress beyond these non private stages the mere fact that a woman is insulated by a computer link up and anonymity doesn’t prevent her, perhaps, from being shy about expressing her sexuality fully.

If all goes well, however, milady and I will enter the next stage by going private— usually to a room named after my “castle.” What happens there varies from person to person. We may engage in a little more intimate play and lovemaking, perhaps, or we may just whisper together. We might talk before playing or we might talk after we play, in or out of character. That’s up to my “guest,” and I have to feel her out without making her uncomfortable by interrupting the flow— not an easy task, mind you.

Let’s say she isn’t obvious about what she wants. Still she’s likely to be responsive to a little romance, so I ease into it with a walk to the main room of the castle, say, to throw a log on the fire and fix some drinks. There are the small caresses, the body language and the innuendos.

For example, as I hand her the goblet, I may lightly pass my hand over hers in the process. I’ll gaze down into her eyes with my warm blue ones. I’ll comment again on her charm and beauty, caress her cheek as I speak, and so on.

Her actions may involve crossing her legs and exposing some thigh, leaning over for a kiss or touching me in some suggestive fashion. If none of these displays yield clear intent on the part of my companion, I’ll become more and more forward until the intent is inescapable.

The most common occurrence is that we both wind up in the master bedchamber undressing one another while engaged in foreplay, working into heavier and heavier petting and finally bringing our characters to orgasm.

To my great delight, I’m told that I have no small skill at online seduction, which I can say, with a broad smile, pleases me, no end. With the assistance of an ever growing reputation, I’ve accumulated girlfriends and mistresses all around the country, and we’ve shared an intimacy of spirit that his hard to achieve through 3D interaction. But is role play and sexual dialogue all there is to compusex? Hardly!

Computer seduction is a far richer endeavor than mere sexual fantasy it’s a unique form of communication that manages to caress the breadth of the human psyche. Online erotic exchanges are highly focused, and it’s a powerful experience when two minds “click” online. It can lead to an unprecedented intimacy. You get to know each other from the inside out, and the results can be remarkable. In every single case where I’ve met friends from 2D in 3D, there were no surprises and no significant hurdles. It’s always been a smooth transition. Of course, one forms a mental image of how the person on the other end of the conversation may look, and that image is often times wrong yet appearance is found not to matter very much at all— for you know that person in a more significant sense.

You may be wondering at this point what these people are actually like. Anyone with experience will tell you that the popular image of two lonely folks madly typing out lusty fantasies with each other while masturbating is simply not accurate. I find online lovers tend to be highly literate and adventurous spirits who are pioneering and conquering yet another frontier. The essence of seduction is defined by how well and how quickly one communicates actions, nuances and feelings in the written word. And lest you fear online suitors look like geeks or extraterrestrials, I must say I’ve been rather impressed. Having not particular expectation, I’ve found the women from 2D whom I’ve gone on to meet in 3D are warm, witty, intelligent and attractive.

Still, compusex can be marvelously arousing at times, particularly if a favorite fantasy is being acted out, you have a responsive partner and the imagery is good. Of course, there’s a craft to it. Certain agreed upon shorthand phrases can denote feelings. See how looks like a laughing face on its side? And is a smiling face. And ) can be a winking smiling face with horns, that sort of thing. And there’s the challenge of creating a compelling scenario, of saying the right thing at the right moment and creating unforgettable plot twists and variations. Two people engaged in this sort of play are bringing their whole experience and skill to task. You allow your partner to involve herself in your actions.

I would never say “You writhe and gasp as I bring you to climax.” In the first place, the choice to moan or squirm and the timing are up to her. It’s my place to describe my own actions and responses, timing myself at a pace she dictates. Like the physical rhythms of great sex, compusex has its rhythms, too. For it to work well, each partner needs to grow attuned to the other, applying both knowledge and intuition at just the right moments. Is it any wonder that it’s such an irresistible tool for communication?

In the 3D world, sex involves a special blending of bodies. In the online world, sex is a blending of minds, and it’s a central theme when I talk with my online lady. Powerful relationships have been built in this manner after only a few nights together.

Just recently I went private with a new partner and we engaged in such a beautiful compusex lovemaking experience.

Afterward we “talked,” got to know one another as real people and discovered that we lived less than 100 miles apart. It didn’t take long before we decided to meet. Within a week of first meeting online we met in person, and the transition from 2D to 3D was seamless because we already knew each other so deeply from the inside out. As it happened, I also found her wonderfully attractive from the outside in.

Of course, not all romances result in happy endings you might expect the same to be true for 2D, and you’d be right. The pleasurable immediacy of the online experience doesn’t always work out in 3D. Sometimes shared fantasies may be no match for hard realities. Let me tell you, I’ve learned to take extra special care of psyches exposed by online intimacy. There are many, many stories online. I’ve heard several. I’ve lived a few.

With effort and luck, online relationships provide you with better insight into yourself and others, expose you to the richness and diversity of humankind, and teach you balance and patience.

They may even lead to special friendships that will last a lifetime.